mercredi 18 novembre 2015

Two years later - Grateful

Oh dear what a long break without writing on my blog...
2 years! Shame on me...!
But with the tragedy of this week end in Paris, and getting mad about social medias, It took me not so long to come back here, in my free space.

These last 2 years I went through tsunamis of difficulties, doubts and sadness but also tempests of joy and excitement.
Most of all big changes, i should say HUGE changes in my life.

In 2 years i've been growing a lot as a performer, i've been touring almost all the time,
almost every week end, I was out of home for shows.

 taboo Barcelona

Royal Burlesque Revue, Milan
 Paris Burlesque Festival
Amsterdam 2013

I produced a show in Geneva at the Palais Mascotte, at la Taverne de la République where I was really happy to work with a supportive and loving team, I've met amazing performers, amazing human beings, but also I've been disappointed, sad and even angry sometimes to see the reality of what it means to be a performer and producer...

by Dam von Schmock

by Aline Fornier

That's Fabulous flyers

I always wanted to give myself the chance to live only by performing burlesque and let my tattooing work on the side for a while. This was not possible in Geneva Switzerland. The rents and costs of life in general were not really made for an artist like me...

So while my marriage was falling apart, I decided to move. To give my self the chance to be in a place where i can afford to be only a performer, and also where i can live a fresh start.
2014 was the most hard and the most beautiful year of my life...

Accept a failure
Renounce on all my comfort
Depression (yes, I was afraid to say it but it touches everyone from time to time)
Restart in the total unknown with 3 luggages in a small room
Growing more as a performer
Fabulous encounters
Finding Love

So yes, everything was extreme, strong, good or bad...

Since I've moved I was able to live a full year only performing.... With all what it means. The amazing feeling of doing what you love. The bitter reality of hard work for a sometimes very unfair financial situation. Passion becoming a real job, accepting that it can't be as magical as in the beginning every time, including when you have 40 degrees of fever and need to show your sexyness. Hating your 30 kilos luggage seing the elevator is not working (that would be anther topic I'll talk about in another post.) Having more than 347 hours of sleep needed because of all the late shows and early flights/trains or buses, back pain and health problems due to such a unhealthy rythme....

by Jérémie Fontana

Perform in magical stages with amazing audiences, but also performing in terrible places with audience that you have the feeling to bother because they are talking. Seeing producers making huge money on performers that will go in red to perform for them... Seeing instaed amazing producers taking risks for performers to get paid in a fair way....Egos talking to egos.... Getting closer and good friends with performers that you admire deeply as artists and human beings...

I've been disappointed, happy, angry, then touched. But also.... I've cried from seeing amazing performances on stage... And it made me understand what really counts.... To transmit something important to you to the audience, not to talk on social medias... just talk with your art, with your talent on stage.. and expose it with all your heart...

If i'm there writing after these 2 years, that means that I had the time to digest all this tornado, that I finally can sit and look back, in the calm. I'm very tired but I'm grateful. I chose to be surrounded by inspiring and loving people and I feel very lucky to meet them on my path. I understood a lot about the burlesque scene and industry, and also a lot about myself. Even if its hard to stay passionate with all what goes around,  I'll keep going,  I'll keep sharing here my opinions, i'll keep supporting good work from producers, and will keep work harder on my acts, costumes and creativity with love... <3

Lou on the Rocks